Love and War Are One
by pokeitlikejello
Summary: Huddy. "You really like to push, don’t you?" Warning: SPOILER: Season Four implied relationships.


**Chapter:** Oneshot**  
Disclaimer:** I don't own House M.D., nor the characters.**  
Author's Note: **This is just something. Inspired by "Rule the World With Love" by the Barenaked Ladies.

* * *

_I need to love you with an iron fist.  
I need to love you 'til you don't exist._

"Mind if I sit?" She raised her eyebrows as she looked down at the empty place next to him.

He gave her a glance and took a swig of the alcohol in his glass. She seated herself down on the stiff cushion of the bench as he sucked on a sliver of an ice cube.

"I'm surprised you came here."

House shrugged. "His mistake. I love being present for every painful moment."

"He doesn't seem very pained right now," Cuddy replied.

Cuddy and House both looked toward the banquet table in the front of the room. Wilson was standing in front of it in his tuxedo, an arm around a vibrant Amber in a white dress as they both spoke with Cameron and Chase.

"Maybe those two'll be next." House nodded toward Cameron and Chase.

"Maybe." Cuddy cocked an eyebrow at him.

House shook his head slightly. "Marriage is one of the biggest mistakes a human can make."

"Did you ever think about marrying Stacy?" Cuddy asked seriously.

"I wouldn't do that to myself," House told her.

"Marriage isn't that bad," Cuddy replied.

"Says the woman who's never been married." House took another sip from his glass.

"Says the man who's never been married," Cuddy retorted and then gave a small shrug. "Maybe it's not a mistake."

"It is for Wilson," House told her. "Kiss of death."

Cuddy held back a sigh and locked tired eyes with his. "You gonna be all right?"

House's eyebrows drew together, insulted at her question. Cuddy shook her head and indicated his glass.

"I've been watching you all night," she admitted. "I want to make sure you'll get home okay."

"You want to take me home?" House raised an eyebrow. "Preferably to my bedroom?"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him and House smirked, though his thoughts were on the fact that she had been keeping her eye on him. He hadn't even noticed.

"Just be safe tonight, okay?" Cuddy asked of him.

"No sex with whatever prostitute I can afford then?" House spoke seriously.

Cuddy glanced down at his glass. "Your scotch is making you crude."

"You know very well it isn't the scotch, but the present company that makes me crude," House replied.

"Of course." She gave him a small smile as she stood to her feet. "I'll see you Monday, House."

House watched her walk away and raised his glass back to his lips. He gulped down the liquid that numbed the burning in his chest caused by these feelings he wouldn't voice. Setting the glass down where she had been sitting, House stood up and swiped his cane from where it rested against the wall.

Limping quickly, he made his way across the room. She had said her goodbyes and was already heading toward the door. As House weaved around other tables, he frowned as he saw Amber approaching him.

"Where you going so fast?" she asked, stepping in House's way and giving him a smile.

Wilson joined Amber's side and House stopped in front of them. He peered around them since they were blocking his view. Wilson turned, interested as to what his friend was trying to see. Looking back at House, Wilson slipped an arm around Amber and drew her back slightly to give House room to pass by them.

House locked eyes with Wilson as a means to thank him or, at least, let him know they were on the same page. House limped past the couple and headed for the door. Amber turned to Wilson, confused as to why Wilson let House go so easily.

Wilson shook his head slightly. "You don't want to go there."

Cuddy was halfway to her car when House stepped out into the warm summer night. It was humid and the heat hit hard on his air conditioned body.

"Hey," he called out to her.

Stopping in her tracks, Cuddy turned around and flashed a smile to House. "Yes?"

"Tell me," he demanded as he hastily approached her.

She was confused now. "What?"

"Tell me," House repeated. "I don't believe you came over to me just to make sure I was okay and ask me to be safe."

Cuddy's eyebrows drew together. "What are you-"

"Don't play dumb with me," House cut her off and moved in too close. "You like honesty. Be honest with me."

Cuddy took a step back. "You were sad tonight. At a wedding reception. Either you've got a thing for the bride or a thing for the groom."

"Definitely the groom," House said.

"Are you all right, Greg?" She placed a hand on his arm.

House shrugged her off harshly. "Fine."

"Do you want me to give you a ride home?" Cuddy offered.

"Since I'm seeing double of you and quadruple of those bountiful breasts of yours, I would say yes," House replied.

Cuddy rolled her eyes and made her way to her car. House followed after her and climbed into the passenger side of her car, making sure to be careful of his thigh.

They drove in silence. Cuddy kept her attention on the road, blaming her lack of words on the need to never tear her eyes from the darkened road just beyond the stretch of the headlights. House excused his silence due to the fact that he didn't want to make conversation. But, if she made a big deal out of it, he would claim it had to do with his alcohol intake.

When they reached his apartment, Cuddy parked the car and turned off the engine. House wasn't the least bit surprised when she climbed out of her car and moved around it to the sidewalk, preparing to walk him in. She waited patiently for him to remove himself from the car before following him up the path to his apartment.

House fumbled with his keys at the door for a moment, but then managed to get the door open. He entered his apartment and flicked on the light, leaving Cuddy standing in the doorway, unsure as to whether she should say goodnight or enter. She never entered without permission and now wasn't a time she wanted to start.

"Want a cup of coffee?" he asked over his shoulder as he moved toward the kitchen.

Cuddy knew that was her permission and stepped into his apartment. She shut the front door behind herself. It was slightly cold in his apartment and she ran her hands over her bare arms. She wore a blue dress made of a light material and regretted it due to the constant use of air conditioners.

House walked back into the living room and his eyes went to her. "You cold?"

"No." Cuddy dropped her arms and walked over to him. "I don't want to stay."

House frowned. "I didn't ask you to. I only offered you a coffee."

"I was just setting some boundaries," Cuddy told him, trying to pacify him since she noted the change in his tone.

"For what?" House asked. "We have clear boundaries, Cuddy. I can't help it if you continually find the need to break them."

"Right," Cuddy agreed with much sarcasm. "It's always my fault."

"Not gonna argue with you there."

House limped back into his kitchen. He lifted the coffee pot from the counter and poured a mug for her. He carried it back to her and she met him halfway. House handed over the mug and then went back to the coffee pot to pour some for himself.

Cuddy looked down at the black steaming liquid. She realized how strange it was that they were drinking coffee when it was so humid outside. It was black coffee. The way she liked it. House always took two sugars.

Bringing her eyes up from the mug, she watched as House passed her and made his way over to the couch. He seated himself and took a sip of his coffee, his eyes on her the whole time. Cuddy turned, but didn't move towards the couch.

She sipped her coffee carefully. The liquid was smooth and mixed with traces of hazelnut. Cuddy lowered her mug, her eyes locked with his.

"Whenever you're finished, get out," he told her. "I've got a girl coming over in ten."

Cuddy shook her head. "No, you don't."

"Stick around and we'll make it a threesome," House said.

"You really like to push, don't you?" Cuddy asked.

"Push you into a threesome?" House raised his eyebrows. "Yes."

"Push people away," Cuddy clarified.

_Only you_. He shook his head. "No."

"I'm gonna go." Cuddy glanced toward the door before bringing her eyes back to him. "I don't want to stay."

"Then, go, Cuddy," House replied harshly. "You don't want to stay and I don't want you to stay unless you plan on getting naked in the next ten minutes."

Cuddy refused to let her mind venture over to even consider that, so she stormed to his door, making sure to slam it on her way out. It wasn't until she took three steps toward the door of the apartment building when she realized she was still holding the mug of coffee.

Calming herself down, she turned around and walked the three steps back to his front door. The door opened and House stared between the small gap at her.

"I didn't mean to take this," she told him.

"You can," he said.

"I don't want it," Cuddy snapped.

House stepped back, widening the space between the door and the frame. "Set it in the kitchen."

Cuddy was suspicious, but she entered anyway. She heard him close the door as she maneuvered through his apartment and into the kitchen. She dumped the rest of her coffee into the sink and rinsed her mug.

She froze, her hands still under the warm water, when she felt his hand on her hip. Cuddy set the mug down and reached her dripping hands out to turn the water off. She let them rest on the handles.

"I don't want to stay."

He spoke slowly. "I'm not asking you to."

Cuddy turned her head to the right and his lips found hers. Helping to turn her, Cuddy put her back to the sink and extended her arms out slightly to keep her hands from getting him wet. He smelled of alcohol, but tasted of the hazelnut coffee, which only prompted Cuddy to deepen the kiss with him.

House pressed himself against her, pinning her between himself and the sink. Cuddy couldn't keep her hands from touching him any longer and clutched onto his arm with one hand while her other found itself on his chest. She tore her mouth from his.

"We-" _Can't_ lodged itself in her throat.

Her sentence unfinished, House hungrily brought his lips back to hers. Cuddy felt a tugging in her abdomen and felt herself growing weaker. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be able to remain standing. She let out a whimper.

House pulled back, but his breath was hot against her. "Want me to stop?"

"I don't..." Cuddy shook her head. "I can't think. Just let me catch my breath a minute."

House dropped his tone. "It doesn't have to be rough."

He gave a light kiss to her lips before trailing very soft kisses down the side of her neck. His tenderness contrasted with his scratchy stubble. She felt weak and raw. She felt exhilaration and yet, nothing at all.

"We've never done it in the kitchen before," he whispered near her ear.

"No," she told him sternly.

"Couch?" he asked instead.

"House." Her tone was uncertain and mixed with a bit of annoyance.

House brought his lips to hers and engaged her. His hand slid up her body and to her neck. He rested his fingers behind her ear while his thumb caressed her cheek.

"Come on," he whispered to her.

His hands made their way to her hips and she wondered for a moment where his cane had gone. House gave her a harsh tug, pulling her away from the sink. He brought his lips to hers a moment before he drew back and looked her in the eye.

Cuddy shook her head slightly, but House wrapped an arm around her backside and pulled her into him. She held on to him as he lowered his lips to her neck where he went to work. He took a step back, using her to support himself as she made sure to keep him up as well. He decided to forgo the couch and began toward his bedroom instead.

* * *

Shifting slightly, Cuddy awoke and squinted against the sunlight in the room. She looked to the body beside her in a bed that wasn't hers. House was still asleep, his chest exposed and an arm draped over Cuddy's abdomen, almost protectively.

Groaning quietly, Cuddy removed House's arm from herself and carefully climbed out of his bed. She located her dress and underwear as quickly as she could and dressed herself. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and she hurriedly began to smooth her tussled hair.

"Going?" House spoke groggily from the bed, his eyes still closed.

"Yes," Cuddy answered sharply, not looking to him as she zipped up the back of her dress.

"Good," he replied.

"I didn't want to stay." She still wouldn't look at him.

"But, you did," he said.

"I... I know." Cuddy slipped on one of her heels before crossing the room where she located and slipped on the other one.

House sat up in bed, the thin bed sheet falling down to his lap. Cuddy straightened and took a scan of the room for any more of her items. Lastly, her eyes came to House.

"What?" he asked.

"You-" She shook her head. "Never mind."

Cuddy tore her eyes from him and headed out of the bedroom. House flopped back on his bed and wondered where his closest bottle of Vicodin was. He heard the sound of the front door shut. She was pissed. And had every right to be.

House played her and she knew it. She wouldn't admit it. That was too cruel. But, they both knew it was his game from the beginning and she went along with it anyway.

He hadn't meant it to be cruel, but that's how it came out. That's how it always came out. And House accepted that. Because it was better her than him. It was better to push than to pull. But, in those rare times when he actually let himself think about it, he found that he really only ever felt worse.


End file.
